31 things learned in life

sharing the 31 lessons in life learned from myself and from others to end the silver year.

1. attunement - loosen, tighten, pull, pluck, beat - what the six strings of a guitar must endure to play the musician's symphony. despite the unknown reason for one's existence, one has to go through suffering to play the music called life.

2. beauty - the appreciation of the battle scars and other marks perfected by time and experience. the reason why we always recognize ourselves in the mirror every time we wake up is because of the traces of the past we see in our faces. one cannot recognize the present moment when the past is not acknowledged and accepted.

3. change - if we are determined to change, no person, thing or any phenomena can sway a battering iron will.

4. chaos - there is no such thing as good and evil. good and evil are just our perceptions of phenomena. there's nothing beyond labeling which are either of the two. we just have to accept what is is, learn and move on. only through that way we can achieve greater heights.

5. destiny - in mountaineering, it's not how fast or how slow we reach the summit. it's all about the lessons we have learned in every successful and failed attempt we experience and how we apply the learnings for us to move forward to where we are heading regardless if we push for the summit or abort the climb to return to where we came from. in any case, there will be another day to give us new experiences and it's up to us to determine whether the next attempt will be a success or a failure, which again will result to new learnings.

6. discipline - discipline is the act of centering ourselves back to equilibrium the moment we are tipping over to any kind of polarity in our lives.

7. dreams - if you know where you are heading, you know what you are doing and you have a clear vision of the world you want to materialize, everything and everyone will follow. it's up to us to play our own music beautifully or off-key. we are the maestros and the musicians of our own lives.

8. faith - faith is the choice to love and devote in spite of one's knowledge of the other. it is the decision to put the blindfold on as we embrace the other wholeheartedly. 

9. fate - fate is the music that plays continuously in the background.

10. free will - in relation to fate, free will is how one responds to the music. sometimes we're only spectators who clap in astonishment, sleep in boredom or rant in dismay after a show. sometimes, we dance, sing, act or play a musical instrument with the music. however, if we choose to perform, we should perform gracefully.

11. heart - opening one's mind won't suffice in learning things. one should also have an open heart. 

12. humility - no matter how high or how far we fly, there's always the ground to catch us when we fall. and when we fall, it's up to us to determine whether we land gracefully or we shatter to pieces. the ground, in whatever form it may be, will always remind us where our feet belong. standing grounded is the most stable way for one to become high.

13. journey - when we're lost, we just need to keep on walking and see how far we can go given our own limitations. if you don't know what they are, you definitely will as you move forward. when things doesn't turn out fine, it's not a sin to turn back. learn from the experience.

14. left - "if things don't turn out right, turn left." the left hand is the one closest to the heart. it is often called the "traitor" hand because it is "uncontrollable". and thus, we associate being wayward to the word "left"  because being "left" is freeing oneself from systems. being "left" is being free. that's why they say, if you want to commit suicide, hold your weapon with your left hand. 

15. lesson - for us to learn, we must declare to the world that we know nothing regardless of the knowledge and wisdom that we have. the moment we say to a teacher that "i know" would compel him not to teach as we are giving them the message that we are superior and do not need the wisdom and knowledge that they have. "be hollow as a bamboo."

16. love - some of us are often advised to change our way of loving the next time we engage in relationships so we won't get hurt. i think nothing can constrict our hearts from loving truly. the reason why they say, "we need to become whole before loving another" is for us to give ourselves when loving. how can one love when he or she holds back? love is just a feeling and is ever flowing. it is our mind which decides when to stop or start. thus, we cannot really learn from past mistakes. what we can only hope for is wait for someone who will acknowledge and accept us when we give ourselves in loving.

17. patience - patience is the marker of one's capacity to will and/or to love. the absence of patience is indifference or, to the gravest extent, hatred. 

18. purity - is simply awareness. how many thieves have said to themselves, "i am stealing" during the act of stealing? do we really know what our actions are and what it means to us? 

19. relationships - acknowledging and accepting the other despite of who or what he or she is. 

20. religion - it's not about what others think you should do and who or what you should follow to become good. it's about what you think, feel, and intuit is right for you to become a better person and to inspire people to become the same in the process.

21. responsibility - responsibility is taking ownership of ones' actions and accepting whatever comes as a result of it without remorse.

22. self - identifying oneself as something or someone is bullshit. ask me tomorrow and i'll give you a different answer.

23. solitude - solitude is a convention with your self and your inner demons to strategize on how to survive life.

24. spirituality - spirituality is succumbing to the fact that although humans have free will, there are things which are beyond control. we can only do so much to survive and to achieve the things we want but rarely do we seek for the light within to show us the path to our journey. 

24. talent - every person wasn't born with something for nothing. once a talent has been untapped, it should be mastered and applied until heaven and hell knows when we know what it is for.

25. teacher - it's not about who the person is but what he or she can teach you to make you a better person. a teacher may not be the best role model. sometimes a murderer can give great wisdom than a person who earned ph.d's

26. values - if you know what you stand for, nothing can sway you.

27. will - the ability to say only "yes" and "no" and nothing else matters.

28. wish - acceptance of one's defeat. admitting that you can't do anything.

29. women - chinese acupuncture says that a woman's heart is the strongest muscle ever created. it compensates for the lack of muscles which men possess. it lasts a day of household chores and a career. it sustains another life than hers. it endures the long wait. the pain. if her heart chooses.

30. work - there is no such thing as "easy" work. the term itself means stress. we are all responsible for our own happiness and work is just one of the many means to get it; thus, one should control work in such a way that it won't consume you. 

31. zazen - "forget everything and sit down and shut up"

note: some of the things here were recycled from previous "mental diarrhea" entries

bury the coffer

i have been writing actively compared to march when i was busy with work and out of town trips. i am staying at home for the holidays because i need rest before the succeeding weekends loaded with travel and other activities. in those times, i bet i would be writing less and if i will have to write by then, it would most likely be in bulk and i hope to publish everything i write in my notebook. moreover, you may have also noticed that i have overhauled this blog. a lot of people have talked me into starting a travel blog but as i attempt and publish new posts, i know i am more than just a travel blogger and i don't want to constrict myself in the realm of travel journalism because i can write something else; thus, i continue to write as myself. 

there have been too many travel blogs nowadays after the advent of gideon lasco's pinoymountaineer, some are rather bland, too technical, and unimaginative, that the beauty of the place was almost forgotten if pictures were not posted. travel blogging should be more than just a repository of contacts, itineraries, and locations. for the record, pinoymountaineer is already there as well as your coffee-table lifestyle and travel magazines and, of course how can we forget, the very simple philippine map. enough has been said about how to go there or how much budget is needed to sustain a living in such and such a place, or who the contacts will be. although essential and should still be written in travel write ups, travel bloggers should not just tell what is simply there but what's more than there. what makes the place unique? how do you see the place? how do you feel about it? 

i still believe that the aim of a writer is to use his or her readers' imagination to paint his or her ideas without the aid of illustrations or photos. as what my professor, cirilo bautista, said, "write as if you are telling stories to blind children." i cannot say that i am a good writer but i am struggling to capture the talent of "painting using people's imagination" that when people read, it's already their mind being in the story and not their eyes reading all the sentences. a few writers such as c.s. lewis, stephen king, robert jordan, paramahansa yogananda, and amy tan are successful in using my mind as a canvass and i am trying to grasp their techniques.

in addition, contrary to what people think, i travel less. i only have limited budget and i only have 15 vacation leaves both of which i would like to spend on my family, my friends and myself rather than on strangers, who most of the time only become acquaintances (but i treasure those who choose to keep me). also, there are times when i prefer to stay in the four walls of my room, read a book and wallow in solitude. reading has always been my time machine back to my childhood. the worlds and ideas that come vivid in my imagination as i leaf through the pages of every book i read are worth writing although they're more than words to describe.

one of the books i love re-reading is idries shah's collection of sufi tales, which is entitled, "the tales of the dervishes". sufism is the esoteric side of islam and the common themes of its philosophy is love and wisdom. the people who practice this tradition is called a "sufi" or "dervish". sufism's teachings are embedded in stories and poetry which are told by the sufi masters for the lessons to be deciphered by their disciples. the famous collection of sufi tales is the "arabian nights" which is about a sultan's concubine, a sufi disciple, who told him stories every night to evade execution. 

i am thinking of posting the stories and how i interpret them would be a good idea to keep this blog active. and so, the story for the day, which strikes me as of the moment, is the "ancient coffer of nuri bey". here's how the story goes.

the ancient coffer of nuri bey

(part of the repertoire of the kalandar dervishes)

 nuri bey was a reflected and respective albanian , who had married a wife much younger than himself. 

 one evening when he had returned home earlier than usual, a faithful servant came to him and said:

 'your wife, our mistress, is acting auspiciously.

 'she is in her apartments with a huge chest, large enough to hold a  man, which belonged to your grandmother.

 'it should contain only a few embroideries.

 'i believe there may now be much more in it.

 'she will not allow me, your oldest retainer, to look inside.'

 nuri went to his wife's room, and found her sitting disconsolately beside the massive wooden box.

 'will you show me what is in the chest?' he asked.

 'because of the suspicion of the servant, or because you do not trust me?'

 'would it not be easier to just open it, without thinking about the undertones?' asked nuri. 

 'i do not think it possible.'

 'is it locked?'

 'yes.'

 'where is the key?'

 she held it up, 'dismiss the servant and i will give it to you.'

 the servant was dismissed. the woman handed over the key and herself withdrew, obviously troubled in mind.

 nuri bey thought for a long time. then he called four gardeners to a distant part of the grounds, and buried it. 

 the matter was not referred to again.

our friends and relatives have often advised us to know the other person more before engaging into a relationship. in this way, you will be able to save yourself from heartaches especially if the person has a "bad record" -- he or she sleeps around, a roguish cheater, or married. it has been in our system to scan other people before becoming intimate with them. however, most of the time, we ignore what our minds tell us about the other person and just plunge immediately into loving him or her wholeheartedly. of course, how would you dismiss something that feels so good to be wrong? 

the story, for me simply says, to love the other in spite of who or what he or she is as love is devoid of any judgements and preconceived notions. the past is being symbolized by the coffer which nuri bey buried after he interrogated his wife about its contents. a person's identity will definitely reveal something which would sway us from being intimate or simply just being friends with the other but it shouldn't be a hindrance in love. 

i am one of the people who choose to put the blindfold on, immerse myself in the madness called love, and forget everything; thus, my dreaming aloud post about "blind faith" of voluntary masking oneself from the truth. despite people telling me to change, i do not believe that one can change how he or she gives love to another because loving someone is a natural thing that flows from within. as what dane soren kierkagaard said, "to devote oneself to another person completely, the lover must drop his or her defenses". there's a reason for the the cliche "for one to fully understand loving the other, you must be whole" as every human being is similar to a puzzle piece. for puzzle pieces to connect to one another, each piece has to be imperfectly whole -- not chipped, torn, or cut -- to combine with other pieces to create an image. if you cut a puzzle piece in half and try to connect it with another, the puzzle, can never be complete because there's something missing and that missing part is something a puzzle piece has to give out to complete the image. therefore, if you hold back, you cannot love.

and so, going back to the story, our past failed relationships may haunt us and become hindrances to a new potential love. in order for us to become happy with another person, or at least just with ourselves, we have to bury everything in our own coffers and bring with us all the lessons learned from the people who became part of our lives in order for us to become a better person.  "love as if he's your first and get rid of the mind games" as what my younger sister told me. however, should i love again in the future, i just wish and pray hard, and this goes to the so-called "stupid people" like me, that the next man who will come into my life will respect me for how i will love him. he may not be a perfect person but he would be perfect for us to help each other become better persons with our love.

there's always a rainbow after the rain...

mt guiting guiting 2011

"and god said, 'this is the sign of the covenant i am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come'" - genesis 9:12

a seasoned mountaineer, perhaps the most spiritual person i have ever met so far, once told me that whenever he sees double rainbows, it's a sign for him that god says he's on the right path. he saw his first rainbow numeries in his sagada hike during the 80's. 

i never believed it at first as rainbows only have one bow.

then at the summit of mt guiting guiting after i woke up from my short snooze, i was greeted with a double rainbow. at that time, i was in my greatest emotional turmoil. it was the best sunset i have ever seen. never have i been inspired after that climb. since then, it was followed by other sightings at anilao and in other places in the city. now i am a believer.

blessed be the "bow" that binds and inspires. 

let it be known to everyone that i owe everything i have achieved to the organization which honed me to become who and what i am today. i am very honored to be part of the 90 years of its existence. 

dreaming aloud...

no matter how high or how far we fly, there's always the ground to catch us when we fall. and when we fall, it's up to us to determine whether we land gracefully or we shatter to pieces. the ground, in whatever form it may be, will always remind us where our feet belong. standing grounded is the most stable way for one to become high.

chinese acupuncture says that a woman's heart is the strongest muscle ever created. it compensates for the lack of muscles which men possess. it lasts a day of household chores and a career. it sustains another life than hers. it endures the long wait. the pain. if her heart chooses.

the catholic rosary contains 54 beads which, if prayed twice sums up to 108. the islamic dhikr has 108 beads and so does the buddhist and the hinduist malas. if, for hundreds or even thousands of years, we all have been praying the same number of times on the same number of beads, how come there is war? the answer eludes me still.

loosen, tighten, pull, pluck, beat - what the six strings of a guitar must endure to play the musician's symphony. despite the unknown reason for one's existence, one has to go through suffering to play the music called life.

life is like drinking beer. you either drown in happiness or in sadness. in the end, you still have to swallow all the bitterness every bottle has to offer.

"blind faith" is an oxymoron. faith is the choice to love and devote in spite of one's knowledge of the other. perhaps it becomes blind when one puts the blindfold on as he or she embraces the other wholeheartedly. 

my bro koi by benj dee 2011

running for something

"it is better to die struggling than to abandon your efforts while there is still a possibility of accomplishing something more; for even when death comes, your struggles must soon be renewed in another life" - paramahansa yogananda

i have always believed that there's a reason why one is born the way he or she is. eric called me last month to share an idea he disapproved of. his running mate told him that in hinduism, it was said that people who run have greater karmas to wash off their souls as running is a means for them to repay the past actions. "then it's a good thing." i replied then he asked me why. so i said, "at least we are given means to pay for what we have done in the past."

sometimes we think we're just born for the sake of existing that we take for granted the things we were born with. i see life akin to jesus' parable of the talents wherein a landlord entrusted his wealth to his three servants. whatever i have now is something i owe which i have to return in a sum more than what was given to me. i cannot say at this moment that i have returned my creator's (or whoever or whatever it is responsible for the life i have right now) talents. what i am sure of is there are times i have been complacent to the point of stagnation. sometimes inner motivation isn't enough that we sometimes seek other things to keep us moving. after all, we don't just live for ourselves no matter how solitary some of us may seem. you may not need others but other people need you -- and your talents.

then as our conversation progressed, he finally understands what i mean. we ended the conversation by promising ourselves not to run, hike, or whatever activity there is we're good at, just for the sake of being good and happy about it. instead, we'll sell ourselves, in a good way, to help other people. i had the same conversation with sir yoy but he got into the bandwagon first with his "cancer kissed my ass". eric talked me into registering at the black pencil project and i signed up two of my major races for this year - a triathlon event and a trail run. true enough, additional inspiration makes you stretch your limits more. it was garbiel's symphony which helped me quit excessive smoking. the sight of the babies who need hare lip operations made me regret every stick which slowly destroys my lungs when i could have used extra air capacity to swim, bike and run longer distances.

let's see how far this mortal body of mine will go. my 2012 looks promising. if the end of the world predictions are true, i wish to die while helping the beings i coexist with. however, if reincarnation is true, if nirvana would be the end of a soul's perfection, i'd rather remain imperfect so i could go back to help and inspire people. 

random reflections: kuro-obi (black belt)

"the color black will never be soiled like any other belt. the color black is the color of will-power. when you have it, you should understand this every time." - shibahara eiken sensei, kuro-obi

i've been hearing my friends rave about this movie so i gave it a shot. the only full movie i could find in youtube was with spanish subtitles which took me quite a while to finish as i have to pause and play to transcribe them in babel fish. my sister, who is fluent in the spanish language, was busy with her take home work so i couldn't invite her to watch the movie with me. nonetheless, the patience i have in translating everything was worth it. i could say that kuro-obi is one of the best martial arts movies i have ever seen.

martial art paractitioners, especially the karateka, will not be disappointed in this movie because this is real karate. no hadouken, no flashy high kicks, no combos, and no strings attached. these are the things which invite the innocent and the ignorant to enroll in dojos as they are misled to think that they can do all the flashy stuff in the films they watch. it was good that movies like these are hitting the big screen to let people know what true martial arts is like.

the story is about three students of shibahara karetedo school during the spark of militarism when the manchukuo colony was established in northern china in 1932. taikan, giryu and choei were the black belts who have completed and mastered the art of karate under shibahara sensei's wing. however, although they may have passed the physical demands of the discipline, they have to learn the deeper lessons of the art. the teachings came in swiftly when the kempeitai military police came to sequester their dojo. during those times, the government ceased the practice of martial arts to avoid any possible uprising from the masses who dare oppose the regime. giryu and taikan insisted that they keep their dojo and challenged the commander to a duel after choei was wounded at the attempt of keeping peace between his fellow students and the police. taikan defeated three policemen who fought him at the defense of their commander. as the commander took his turn in the fight, shibahara sensei had giryu continue the fight. despite the commander drawing his katana, his skills were no match against giryu, who left him close to his death. 

when their master fell ill, one of the three has to be the heir to the lineage of their art; however their master passed away without appointing a successor. after his death, another group of military policemen came but this time with loaded rifles, they have no other choice but to follow the military and become karate instructors. on their way to the police camp, they were ambushed by the commander's children. they found out that the commander committed sepukku because of shame. since giryu was responsible for the death of the children's father, he accepted defeat. he took their attacks, which caused him rolling downhill and was left for dead in the woods. as the three moved on with their lives, the twists of fate brought each to their own enlightenment, which at the end determined the heir to their sensei's black belt.

"there is no first attack in karate. the goal is to avoid the opponent. remember that you do not have to strike not kick your opponent this is what you have to embrace" - shibahara eiken, kuro-obi

watching the movie made me reminisce about how i grew up in martial arts. when  i was in elementary there were summer school programs being offered to make children more productive during vacation and one of them is martial arts. the catch was, they're only accepting 8-years-old children so on my 8th birthday, i requested it as a gift. my mom disapproved of it because girls are not supposed to be brute and violent. moreover, i was a pampered princess. my mom would yell at us if she caught us playing outside home and we get more yelling if we're wounded. however, my dad thinks differently. being a karateka himself, his heart's content is to protect all the women he left at home. but working overseas won't permit him so he wanted us to learn how to protect ourselves and our mother in case inevitable circumstances happen. since he's the man, he has to decide leaving my mom with no other choice but to send us to martial arts lessons. since then, my dad and i's bonding was martial arts. he would often call at home to ask for my progress and he's happy for every milestone achieved.

however, things changed when he found out what i was studying. he didn't like the discipline because the sport i studied focused more on competition than self-defense (i won't mention the name to respect the martial art). when he returned home he told me to stop practicing. my heart sank. at that time, i already went a long way and am just a few notches away from the coveted black belt. all the while i thought i'd stop studying martial arts when i found out that he's been looking for a japanese arts school near home. he and my uncle took karate lessons when they were still studying in the province and he's looking for a branch nearby but was not successful. however, he found traditional aikido, another japanese art, which is also being offered in the same gym where i was studying. he told me i'll become better with aikido. 

it was not hard to start from scratch especially if you have your achievements stuck in your head. although aikido is a defensive martial art, i was more hurt because of my refusal to adjust. sensei x would often say, "you will hurt yourself more if you resist!" before i fly off and roll unto the mats, which is in fact luckier than being locked. i hated my first month. what i could only connect to my practice back then was my love for physics as i am seeing all the theories being taught in school in application. i still practiced in that other art to satiate my ravenous thirst for power and to get that black belt once and for all. but fate was good at teaching people lessons and i was not exempted. i was cheated in a competition and got severely injured. everyone in the gym was disappointed at my act of "letting go" of my shot at joining the philippine team, which made me depressed for a time. 

when the news of my shameful defeat broke out at the dojo, it was a different atmosphere. "it's ok! let's eat it out!" jhay said. since that lunch out that very summer, my life changed. i found a best friend i have never found in the other sport due to tight competitions i have to win. the extra time for practices was changed to dinner or lunch outs depending on what time the sessions i will join. the grudges i keep after practices during hard sparring was changed to laughter. in fact, when i had my sprained shoulder after a bad fall after a throw  executed by my best friend, we watched a movie together right after my shoulder was treated. instead of going home alone, i have commuting buddies. and, the most wonderful thing of all, i have a second father in sensei x. as i drifted in the lessons and the companionship i had with the new light-hearted and peaceful way of life, i left the other martial art and forget my black belt.

ian sensei and ito sensei... dancing
2010

in my 16 years of practicing martial arts with 12 years of it spent in aikido and in some other arts*, i cannot say that i have become the ideal martial arts practitioner but i know i have become a better person. martial arts is a way of life and there is much to learn outside the dojo and the mats. there are times when i have become the ravenous and bold taikan, the idealistic and timid giryu, and the weak and powerless choei in all the moments of my life. there are times when i need to become aggressive to stand firmly for what i believe in; when i  just have to sit back and watch because i have no power over the situation; or times when i don't need to act on thing -- whoever i have become and will become in the future, they represent the phases i must undergo in life to grow. as what ueshiba sensei, "life is growth. if we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead." whatever life may hold -- whether fate would compel to become any of the three -- we must not resist as wisdom comes with every experience. if we embrace and stop resisting, we then become the black belts of our own lives. 

of course, aikido has black belts. we call our black belts yudansha and they wear hakama on top of the black belt. however, my dreams of wearing the hakama was not as aggressive as when i was training hard for the black belt in the other discipline. if i'll be wearing a hakama i will only have these reasons: (1) he'll kick me out of the dojo because i am always hesitating to be promoted and (2) to help him teach aikido. i am not yet ready for the latter (but i can feel the former soon hehehehe). i don't know when i will wear my hakama as there are things in my life which need to be on top priority too like work and studies. whenever the day will be, it will definitely be a beginning of something else. 

osss!!

"the greatest victory is victory over oneself" - morihei ueshiba
2010

note: the kuro-obi photos were just googled.

* the other art will have its new entry. i cannot tell when. the clue about the other art is "patience"

international women's month

disclaimer: i am trying my best to become gender neutral. instead of using the words "man" and "woman", i will use "male" and "female" which are more biologically appropriate for the discussion. i will only use the term "man" and "woman" to quote the statements of the speakers and other characters in this entry. in addition, i don't want this entry to seem like a reflection paper in college so i am cutting the statistics, the references etc. after all, this is my blog -- my travel and mental diarrhea blog. i have added some icebreakers too. however i apologize if the entry would seem boring and sterile.

last march 8, 2012 was "international women's day" and we were called for a telecon for women but was hesitant to attend due to our ballooning work list. my manager tells me that i cannot skip it because it's a telecon for women's month and i will like the topic. she was wrong about that part. i have a love-hate relationship in women talks but then i thought it wouldn't hurt if i give it a try. at 4 pm the four of us rushed in to get our seats only to find out that we are the only participants of the event because the people working on dayshift in our department is just a handful.

it's a man's world out there in the oil mining industry...

the talk was about the place of women in the corporate world -- in a petroleum company to be specific -- wherein the workforce is predominantly male. the hosts were two males and the guest speakers were two female evps working for our company with one of them authoring a book about women empowerment. the conversation started with the book's summary which later progressed on how the idea mirrored in our current company's situation. for the record, there has been no female ceo in a petroleum company yet.

last 2009 would've shaken the petroleum world had linda cook got the ceo position however, peter voser, was the one who rose to power. unfortunately, pete took the position at the time when a lot of females become ceo's, such as andrea jung of avon and ursula burns of xerox just to name a few, that the issue then became myopic on "women in a petroleum company". when he got the position, there have been a lot of estrogen-overdosed comments from female bloggers saying that the petroleum company will always be a "man's world". but genitals aside, if you're going to look at both competitors' accomplishments, it's a tough fight. peter voser is a legitimate competitor and deserves the position. i am not saying that linda cook is not competent enough to take the role. she is known in the corporate world as the woman with "midas touch" as every business she takes over earns higher profit no matter how exhausted the accounting spreadsheets of those companies were before. however, pete has to have it with his project at that time gaining more income and cutting more costs that is on mainstream. and i must admit that i am a fan of is sharp mind.

because both males and females have to be reminded on why they are working...

ice breaker 1: we were given chocolates during the telecon as one of the corporate giveaways during women's month. but since we're only very few, the facilitator allowed us to take as many as we can as he would need to dispose of all of them after the talk.

while having pre-conceived notions that the talk would concentrate on radical feminism of the vagina ruling the world, my ideas were debunked as the topic progressed to the concept of family. the speakers mentioned that the main reason why people are working is for them to support themselves and their loved ones and should not drown themselves in the demands of the company. with this as a premise, businesses should make continuous improvement plans on how the employees would attend more to their families. a perfect example of family-centric companies the speakers have cited is microsoft wherein the office serves as a meeting place rather than a working area as they have shifted to virtual working. i also know of accenture daycare centers where mothers and fathers can bring their children so they would be taken care of while they work. one of the female speakers mentioned that the business should focus on where a person is coming from no matter how petty some things would seem like providing reserved car parking areas for working fathers and mothers who are sending their kids to school before going to work which currently is a privilege only given to executives. 

a loving home hones and builds better generations. we may have mothers and fathers with complete attendance in the office but their children have been longing for their love and care. becoming parents means not only just giving material happiness but also emotional, psychological, and spiritual happiness which can only happen if a family is complete. if these will not be given, families become dysfunctional and in worst cases become broken. in my own inference, the increasing number of divorce cases are due to the fact that couples were not given time to nourish their relationships through open communication and body language such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, or even as simple as sitting or sleeping together as a family; thereby resulting to "irreconcilable differences", "third parties" which are love affairs mostly found in the work place or in hang out places nearby the office (as what my mom has always said, "some people find love outside home because there's none in their own." also, a person will seek out relationships, no matter how solitary one can be, either through another person or through a divine being), or "infertility" which according to doctors can be stress induced. moreover, some religions speak of the "broken family" curse wherein if a child came from a broken family, he or she will have one as well. i see it true not because of supernatural reasons but because most children from broken homes never experienced a happy family with loving parents as they grow up that when the time comes for them to start a family, they don't know how to work things out.

moreover, since we are speaking of families, the world needs more people despite of the increasing number of the world's population. while we worry about over population in this country, in other parts of the world they worry about how to have their citizens marry and have their own children. korea is one of the countries with the longest working hours with ten hours working time as an average, has a very low fertility rate since people are gearing towards career having less time to build families. the statistics is a challenge to all the koreans as no one would replace the country's work force in ten to twenty years time compared to us with a fresh average age group of twenty five year olds. of course, i am not dismissing that fact that there really are some people who wouldn't want to get married and have children in the future out of their own personal reflections as i myself have considered it as one of my options. however, if survival of the human race is concerned, we need fresh individuals to fill up the spaces of the people in the workforce once they near retiring age.

gender roles

icebreaker 2: red velvet cupcakes by "sophie's mom" were also given away by our department to all staff to celebrate women's month. since my mom waited for an hour for me before we went home, i gave it to her... to celebrate all that is her -- a mother.

in other women talks, it has always been "hey, women are better than men" which have irked me for a while from such conversations. the truth is, men and women are not equal. if that is the case, then we all should have the same set of genitals and procreate with ourselves; however, we are all equivalent that for whatever one lacks, the other compensates. in chinese medicine, although males have naturally strong bodies to endure physical work, females have stronger hearts to compensate the physical strenuous tasks of managing the home and child birth. thus biologically, both genders are strong in their own way. equivalent but not equal.

most people, unfortunately do not understand gender roles and i have heard that in the later shifts, people have been asking radical questions such as "if you really value women, why aren't there any women in the executive board" or "if this is women talk, how come you are not talking about women?" which, according to my manager was not answered in the telecon. hello, jaw... meet the hard and cold floor! i am guessing that the reason why those questions were not answered, aside from the lack of time, is because they were immature and not well thought. as mentioned before, females were not the center of the conversation because the focus is gender cooperation in a corporate world. the talk won my heart when the speakers said that "a good working environment is when women are given the opportunity to cooperate with men in achieving a goal" because the truth is that males and females coexist in this world to work together. of course, if they asked their questions, i also asked mine:

"what are the values/behaviors are needed for a female to become the first ceo of a petroleum company?"

the speakers told of the company's progress from just hiring males to do the dirty jobs of oil drilling, plant maintenance, and other field work to females wearing cover-all's climbing oil wells and staying in sub sea level plantations. moreover, more females were hired in the corporate side of the business as the years passed by. i was able to interact with them myself and have always been at awe whenever i hear their stories of battling their way in a testosterone-driven company while also being mothers at the same time. one of the female leaders i have interacted with before told us in her "pearls of wisdom" session that when she started in the plant where she was first assigned, someone hurled a comment at her, "what are you gonna do here? flaunt your legs?" another story was from our very own evp, who was referred to as "the lady in hr" by the males as she was the only female in the first plant she worked for. instead of taking the remarks as an insult, they used them as an inspiration to make them "stronger women". all of them, the speakers in the telecon and the evp's i have talked to shared the same value - authenticity and working hard towards one's goals. in the end it's the contribution that is being looked at and not your genitals. the discrimination part only happens on females who succumb to these insults, who eventually become incompetent in the process thereby tarnishing the idea of a "working woman" similar to people smirking at some car accidents after finding out that the absent-minded driver is a female thus the term "the lady driver".

going back to my question, if i am going to give the same answer - hard work and authenticity. you don't have to be mulan and pretend your a male. a female just needs to become what she is and work hard to be recognized as a leader. it's all a matter of knowing where you are good at and not pretending you are what you think is fit for the work. moreover, if you are yourself -- you know what your beliefs and principles are -- you will become a great leader. 

geekery

just got my iphone 4s last sunday and have been downloading and testing aps. i know some of you are surprised right now as i was admiring xperia active but the store from where i have been eyeing the phone pulled out all their xperia stocks as sony and ericson have split up but leaving the mobile phone business with sony. since i badly need a phone to replace my jurassic and soon-to-die sony ericsson w810i, i had no other choice but to get a 4x more expensive apple phone. well, i have other choices but as far as need is concerned, i have drilled down my options to iphone or xperia. i have took into consideration buying a samsung s2 but the oled green side effect turns me off.

now going back to aps, i was able to download a lot of stuff essential to my lifestyle such as "runkeeper" which helps me track all my sports activities including swimming... yes swimming! i have to buy a lifeproof case for it. i have tested runkeeper during my my batulao trip last sunday. siri was good but the battery life goes below satisfaction if i will be going for a hike for more than a day so i have to buy a portable charger with double a's as source of energy. later i discovered "the north face trailhead" which is a better gps program than the runkeeper as the map shows satellite pictures. i am supposed to test it last sunday but my climb didn't push through.

also i downloaded columbia applications such as cheat sheets to knot tying and the backpacking checklist which gave me an idea what other stuff i need to bring other than the things i usually do. with the checklist, i was able to help myself bring only the essential ones.

aside fron mountaineering aps, have also downloaded a virtual dive log for scuba diving which will be very helpful when i go back to diving some time mid of this year. and of course.. games to keep me pre-occupied instead of smothering boredom. i have been downloading games which some of my officemates have recommended like "temple run" and "taptap" but i am longing for strategy games similar to statcraft. during my search, what i got was a starcraft pictionary. boo. but i downloaded it still. after long hours of searching, voila! doodle wars. the game may be the simplest thing of all with graphics that a preschooler will have as a masterpiece but it brings me back the feeling of staying indoors and forgeting the outside world again. and because i have heard the calling, i didn't download the full version. hehehe. talk about will-power. hehehehe. nonetheless, prevention is better than cure.

in spite of how the game defined awesome, the best app i have downloaded so far is "blogger" from which i am writing this entry now instead of being pissed off at makati night rush hour. this app will definitely become handy during my travels.

i'm your greatest fan ^___^

up to date, the best act of fandom i have experienced is a picture from someone eating a raw goat's heart. the moment i saw his tag on my facebook timeline (thank god i have set tags to myself alone), i asked him what he was doing in the photo because i thought he was holding a skinned frog or something. then he said "it's goat's heart". i don't take it offensive. the people i grew up and studied with can tell you my laboratory stunts every dissection class and the university wasn't an exemption when i played with iodine to create purple clouds that hovered over us in the room. that's how notorious i was back then (speaking as if i'm a good person now and it is the truth).

i met this guy during my eleven-day mindanao escapade. he was one of the participants in the mt apo climb i joined. he introduced himself to everyone as a missionary of a theosophical society and we had a lengthy discussion about religion and spirituality. fast forward, we were stranded for 5 hours at agco as we thought that the thunder clouds passing by were minor rain clouds of the typical southern weather (sunny mornings and rainy afternoons). while he admired me for encouraging the rest of the participants in climbing the rockies and the 90-degree ascent to summit (which after my next climb i discovered that there's an easier but longer back trail), i would not have posted this entry if not for him saving our lives in the raging waters of agco when he used himself as a breakwater. 

now i'm wondering... what if i send him and every public icon i am a fan of a picture of myself licking severed bull testicles, eating pig's heart raw, or sipping pus instead of sending them drawings or motivational messages? will i be locked up in jail because of fandom? i'd like to give it a try...

the most powerful woman in the world...

not marian rivera for heaven and hell's sake...

i am talking about amaya the character in the gma epicserye. i wish it should have been played by angel locsin instead who looks more filipina than the half spanish, marian rivera. nonetheless, it was a great move by gma to unearth pre-spanish history for the filipino to watch so i am buying this dvd. i just hope more shows such as amaya will be created.

for years, we have been duped into believing our history textbooks that our country has only been visited by foreigners when in fact, it was more than just visits. we had civilizations which catholicism destroyed and one of the hallmarks of those civilizations were warrior women like amaya and urduja. pre-spanish history can be traced via the filipino martial art called, "kali" or "arnis". it was during those times that women have the responsibility to protect the home while the men are away to hunt food so all women should be knowledgeable in handling bladed weapons. the spaniards despised this idea so they tamed the women immediately thru religion as soon as they were able to learn the language. the "maria clara" is the epitome of a woman back then. until now, you still hear the old people saying that what a woman should be is a maria clara, someone who follows her father and her husband and someone who should always stay indoors to take care of the children and do household chores. not someone who travels alone, earns double phd's, knows how to fight, and contests with men.

with the advent of industrialization, manpower -- in the literal sense of man power -- wherein the use of body skills are lessened as machines took over most of the jobs, more mind-based workers are needed and these type of jobs were more appealing to women. more women became workers as the university opened its doors to women thereby, in the world we have now, we have more women fussing over the streets of manila to go to work. we have different urdujas and amayas now but the greatest question is, will the church be conquered by women soon? will there be priestesses? will they let women run religion? this is definitely something worth witnessing. i just hope i am still alive by then.

the normal mind

"if you just duel and shoot with the a normal mind, you should not have no trouble with the bow and you should be able to wield the sword freely. the normal mind, not upset by anything, is good for everything, if you lose the normal mind, your voice will quiver whatever you try to say, if you lose the normal mind, your hand will quiver if you try to write something in front of others.

the normal mind keeps nothing in the heart, but lightly relinquishes the past , so that the heart is empty and therefore is the normal mind..." - miyamoto musashi

so yeah... last christmas, i whined for "the book of five rings" as a christmas gift at the office wishlist and i'm happy that the person who got me bought it together with another book i requested, "the kite runner". thanks, mate. 

according to most translators of miyamoto musashi's "the book of five rings" (sorry guys.. he is not a ninja), the book was exclusively written for martialists and martial artists due to its focus on tactics unlike sun tzu's"the art of war" which focuses on strategy and is more broad and can easily be applied in other disciplines such as business. however after reading the book, i reckon that musashi's teachings, in spite of some translators' claims, can also be applied to one's personal life and how he/she deals with. thus, let me bastardise his work and forcibly apply it in the discipline of mountaineering.

like some very few bookworms i know who have the most obscure ways in reading books, my preference would be reading the table of contents and leafing through the book until i get to the chapter with the most interesting title. as for my case, "the mind is like the moon in water, the body is like an image in the mirror" caught my attention. in this chapter, he said that in the Buddhist thought, the mind, being an instantaneous formless thing reflects in all things. this is similar to us day dreaming we're in japan or thinking that a certain task is easy; while the body as the static form reflects whatever is in the mind. to wit, whatever we are "minding" or "thinking" or "feeling" reflects what our body does - mind and body coordination. in physical activities, we can see this in doing conditioning exercises in such a way that we teach our bodies techniques for countless times and countless hours until such time that the mind and body becomes one. 

of course, aside from teaching the body what to do, the mind should know where to focus. it was also stated in the book that the mind should be a "free mind" or a "normal mind" therefore it should not be attached to a belief or a phenomenon but instead just become aware like "a dead wood watching the birds and the flowers". the wood is there perceiving its surroundings but is not delving neither on the flowers nor the birds. in most cases, we tend to have preconceived notions about a certain thing that we miss out the big picture. in fighting, the tendency would be to just focus on the opponent's hands and have almost forgotten about his/her legs which have the longest reach or, in climbing, thinking too much about the heat and the comforts of home in spite of the beautiful view that awaits the climber. this is what musashi calls "sickness", which are distractions of the mind which hinders the body to move efficiently.

ergo, in physical endeavors, one should have a disciplined mind to teach the body what to do. without a sound and empty mind the body falters and succumbs to weakness. moreover, one should be aware of his/her surroundings for him/her to know the next move but should not be stuck by his/her environment. thus, for a mountaineer with a normal mind reflects climbing.

so what's in your "normal mind"?