running for something

"it is better to die struggling than to abandon your efforts while there is still a possibility of accomplishing something more; for even when death comes, your struggles must soon be renewed in another life" - paramahansa yogananda

i have always believed that there's a reason why one is born the way he or she is. eric called me last month to share an idea he disapproved of. his running mate told him that in hinduism, it was said that people who run have greater karmas to wash off their souls as running is a means for them to repay the past actions. "then it's a good thing." i replied then he asked me why. so i said, "at least we are given means to pay for what we have done in the past."

sometimes we think we're just born for the sake of existing that we take for granted the things we were born with. i see life akin to jesus' parable of the talents wherein a landlord entrusted his wealth to his three servants. whatever i have now is something i owe which i have to return in a sum more than what was given to me. i cannot say at this moment that i have returned my creator's (or whoever or whatever it is responsible for the life i have right now) talents. what i am sure of is there are times i have been complacent to the point of stagnation. sometimes inner motivation isn't enough that we sometimes seek other things to keep us moving. after all, we don't just live for ourselves no matter how solitary some of us may seem. you may not need others but other people need you -- and your talents.

then as our conversation progressed, he finally understands what i mean. we ended the conversation by promising ourselves not to run, hike, or whatever activity there is we're good at, just for the sake of being good and happy about it. instead, we'll sell ourselves, in a good way, to help other people. i had the same conversation with sir yoy but he got into the bandwagon first with his "cancer kissed my ass". eric talked me into registering at the black pencil project and i signed up two of my major races for this year - a triathlon event and a trail run. true enough, additional inspiration makes you stretch your limits more. it was garbiel's symphony which helped me quit excessive smoking. the sight of the babies who need hare lip operations made me regret every stick which slowly destroys my lungs when i could have used extra air capacity to swim, bike and run longer distances.

let's see how far this mortal body of mine will go. my 2012 looks promising. if the end of the world predictions are true, i wish to die while helping the beings i coexist with. however, if reincarnation is true, if nirvana would be the end of a soul's perfection, i'd rather remain imperfect so i could go back to help and inspire people.